The last block to good organization according to Morgenstern is Psychological Obstacles.  Again, I think that this applies more broadly to habit building in general.  This can be heavy stuff, but extremely rewarding.  I’m not sure that these obstacles can be easily categorized, but I’d like to focus on one category where I think a lot of people might have a block- alignment of goals & habits with personal vision & values.  A wordy title for sure, but I cannot come up with anything snappier at the moment.

Our goals, habits & resolutions paint a picture of who we think we should be.  However, in some cases this isn’t the same as who we want to be.  We put down goals that don’t actually resonate with our values or personal vision.  We put these goals down because something external is telling us we should.  Or we put down a goal that does align with our values or ideal self-image, but actually has no resonance with us.

Let me give you an example.  For years “Learn a second language” has been a goal of mine.  I work in a multi-cultural environment and I’d say at least 80% of my colleagues speak at least 2 languages, and a sizable fraction of them speak three or more.  I’d like to show my non-native English speaking friend and colleagues respect by talking to them in their native language.  I think that would deepen our relationship & friendship.  In my mind, learning another language would make me more worldly and sophisticated as well.   This would suddenly turn me in to one of those adventurous people who backpack across the globe staying in the homes of people they met while chatting at the local market.  Knowing a second language (in my mind) is also a signal that I’m not closed minded- I’m not an ugly American.   There is a lot of stuff behind this simple goal!

Yet, I still don’t speak a second language.  This resolution has been broken more times than I can count.  I’d buy CDs or download programs, commit to a practice schedule, start building the habit of practice, and break it within a month.  Why?  Because I don’t like learning languages.  It is a horrible, horrible slog for me.  I took years of French in school, and worked hard to get good grades, but it was my least favorite subject.  I also don’t like travel.  I’m not a spontaneous person, and backpacking across the world sounds horrible to me.  The underlying values (multi-multiculturalism, open-mindedness, respect, relationship building, sophistication)  are important to me, which is why this goal re-appeared on my list for so many years.  To not learn a second language seems like a refutation of values that are important to me.  But, there are other ways to live in alignment with those values that fit better with my life, my personality, & my preferences.  And now, this goal doesn’t appear on my list.  Occasionally, I think “I should learn a second language”, but a few moments reflection convinces me that this goal is still not something I actually want to do.

The converse could be true as well.  Upon thinking about a goal and seeing the deep connection to your values and your ideal self, you may realize that it is a much higher priority than you thought.  As an example, keeping up with household chores may not be the funnest thing for most of us,  and might seem like it is dictated mostly by outside expectations.  However, when I thought about how I felt when I walked in to a clean room, I realized that house-cleaning enabled tranquility.  For me, I experience increased calm in a neat and clean room and increased anxiety walking in to a messy one.  Housekeeping is something that I struggled with fitting in my schedule.  It seemed cleaning took too much energy.  I either didn’t have that energy, or I preferred to spend it elsewhere.  The last year I lived pretty chaotically.  However, as I started reflect on my values, and ways to reduce my stress and anxiety levels, I realized that housework was actually a really simple and important path towards calm.  And since I’ve starting thinking about these benefits of housework, it has been easier to do the habit of doing some cleaning & tidying up every night.

So, is there a Zombie goal on your list?  A goal that you’ve never managed to accomplish, but yet keeps coming back year after year?  Perhaps taking a few minutes to think about why you want to accomplish the goal, and if it is really something you want to do, will finally slay the Zombie goal- one way or another.