Monthly Archives: April 2016

Bike Stuff

So, the Mongoose is still in pieces.  I did buy a replacement bike- the sales guy at the bike shop says it is a great commuter bike.   I was pretty explicit that I commute to work on it, and the bike had to handle potholes, debris, sand, and mild off-roading as part of the daily task.  I don’t think he believed that I rode it as hard as I do.

So, the bike doesn’t handle sand at all well, which lead to a spectacular crash as I was turning a corner.  Crash perhaps isn’t the correct word, but as I lost control I started to slow down which lead to me toppling into a canal.  Since I had a giant backpack, I ended up flailing around like an upside-down turtle.  Mortifyingly, the bus I sometimes ride passed by at that moment, and some passengers jumped out to drag me out.

Anyway, so this bike might an okay choice for a not financially strapped beach town that cannot afford to run the street sweepers frequently enough to keep the bike lanes clear of sand.  Additionally, I’ve already gotten a flat from all the broken glass in the street, which is less an issue with the bike (though the tires and tubes are both thinner than on the Mongoose), and more another complaint about lack of street sweepers.

Potholes are another task that the bike doesn’t handle particularly well.  I didn’t realize how much the shocks on my mountain bike were smoothing out my ride, but they do make a huge difference when dealing with potholes.

I generally have to ride much less aggressively with my new bike, which is sad, since lighter framer and larger tires should mean that I can go super fast compared to the Mongoose.

Anyway, I’m now even more firmly in the ‘mountain bike for commuting/daily use’ category than I was before.

Things we avoid…

The flip side to understanding what values drive you, is to understand what pain points you strive to avoid.  These can often be much more powerful than the positive values we may wish to embrace.  Rather than maximizing our pleasure, we go out of our way to avoid pain.  This can be okay, but sometimes our pain values actually prevent us from acting on our positive values.

My big 3 drivers are:

  1. Fear of Rejection
  2. Fear of Loss of Control
  3. Fear of being disrespected

These are all interrelated, and all carry the poison pill that  the more you strive to avoid these things, the more likely that you are to experience them.

No one can be in control 100% of the time.  Trying to do so just leads to a more catastrophic experience when you finally do lose control.  (Which can also lead to a real and deserved loss of respect from people around you and possibly also rejection).

Fear of rejection prevents you from being able to share your true self with others.  You have to construct a facade, and too much effort goes towards controlling your image so that you won’t be rejected or disliked.

Fear of being disrespected also leads to the projection of a persona- either of power of expertise so that you have sufficient “standing” that you won’t be disrespected.

Again, failure in one mode leads to failure across the board.

Finding out how to reframe or release negative drivers isn’t easy.   The first step is just to be aware of them and when they are driving your actions.  Journaling is a great place to record these observations and later look for patterns.  This is what I will be doing over the next month as I try to modify my mindset.